Snow, Snow and More Snow!

Ok, I know this has been around for a while, but I think we all feel this way after all this snow we have been having.  We may be snowed in, but at least we can still laugh about it.

A Texan Moves North January 10th: It’s 5:00pm and it’s starting to snow. The first of the season and the first one we’ve seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rum and sat by the picture window watching the soft flakes drift down, cling to the trees and cover the ground. It was beautiful.

January 11th: We woke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in my life and loved it. I did both driveway and sidewalk. Later, a snowplow came along and accidentally covered up the driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver waved and smiled. I waved back and shoveled again.

January 12th: It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature has dropped to 11 degrees. Several tree limbs have snapped from the snow. I shoveled the drive again. Afterward, the snowplow came again. Now the snow is brownish-gray.

January 13th: It warmed enough today to cause slush which froze again when the temperature dropped. Bought snow tires for both cars. Fell on my ass in the driveway, $145.00 to the chiropractor. Nothing broken. More snow.

January 14th: Still cold as hell. Sold the wife’s car. Bought a 4×4 to get her to work. Slid into a guardrail anyway with considerable damage. Another 8 inches of snow last night. Both vehicles covered with salt and crud. More shoveling for me. The goddam snowplow came twice today. Grr!!

January 15th: It’s 8 freaking degrees outside. More freaking snow. Not a tree on our property that hasn’t been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater, which tipped over and nearly burned the dam house down. Managed to put out the flames, but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands plus lost all my eyelashes and eyebrows. Car slid off the road on the way to the emergency room, and totaled it.

January 16th: More goddam white shit keeps coming down. Have to put on all the clothes we own just to get to the freaking mailbox. If I ever catch the son-of-a-bleep who drives that godforsaken snowplow, I’ll tear open his chest and rip his heart out. I think he hides around the corner till after I’ve shoveled. Power is still off. Toilet froze. Roof has started to cave in.

January 17th: Six more inches of this white crap and sleet and no telling what the hell else will happen. Wife left me. The car won’t start. I think I’m going snow-blind. I can’t feel my dam toes, and I haven’t seen the sun in weeks and more dam snow forecast. Wind chill is 22 below. Dammit, I’m moving back to Texas!